Doug Bunn — The Honey Do Husband

Winter may not be here by the calender but it is cold. I used to have a close working associate that would say “it is colder than a mother-n-law’s love.” Well I have a good mother-n-law so I can’t say that but it is cold.

Now, before Wikileaks post some of the documents of my work I want to be proactive and get in front of them. I don’t want to take your time to talk about the weather so I will proceed. It has been a while since I contributed to your reading material and I have done lots of different procedures. We can go back aways and I can tell you about assembling and  erecting a basketball goal. I got to the clients home to do just that and started “reading” the directions. There were not many printed words on the directions, just pictures. There was a disclaimer about not using the proper amount of concrete and the minimum amount was 6 bags, the client had bought 2 bags. Since I had 2 other little jobs to do for this client I waited to go buy the bags of concrete when I was going to get the other materials needed. After digging the hole for the guide sleeve to go in I finally took a road trip to several local stores to purchase the needed supplies for the various jobs I was to complete that day. When I returned I started the process of locating the guide sleeve and filling the hole with the proper amount of concrete, making sure the sleeve was plum. That it important to the overall survival of the goal and to the rest of the story. While the sleeve concrete was setting up I started assembling the rest of the goal using the glyphs printed on the directions. It was difficult to interpret those glyphs into words to make my brain work. I got it done and erected it and put it in place in the sleeve. In about 2 weeks the homeowner called and want me to come look at it, “it’s leaning”, she said. I went there prepared to see the leaning tower of Pisa, thinking that the oldest teenage son had been hanging on the rim. Instead I saw what looked like a slightly leaning basketball goal. When the owner and I put my level on the post it was plumb in every direction. I then understood that we were seeing an optical illusion. The driveway was not level but because the parking pad and driveway was fairly large my mind wanted to make it level instead of the goal being plumb. It reminded me of the time I put up curtains for a client. When I was almost done she wanted me to lower one side. I removed the curtains and put the rods back up to find them level. The ceiling was not level by over 1/4″ in 4 feet. With the curtains level it was not pleasing to the eye. So I put the curtains up not level so they would look good. She was happy.

I “winterized” an irrigation system several weeks ago. I was troubled because I didn’t have any way to drain all the water out of the pipes and most importantly the heads that are so exposed to the cold. I will let you know next spring if I was successful at that little maneuver. I did what my client said the other companies had been doing but I still don’t feel great about it. For that same client I was called over to help erect a Christmas tree. They have 10 foot ceilings and bought a rather large tree to fill the area. It was a heavy tree but we got it in the tree holder.

I filled in a hole in a house where a squirrel had been making plans to live. The house has vertical, tongue and groove cedar siding. The hole was in 2 boards. I had to make a patch to look as good as it could. I hope they are satisfied with my hole filler. I have changed the batteries in the smoke alarms of several homes in the last 6 weeks. That is something you should do at least once a year. I think the fire department suggest every time you change the clock for daylight savings time you should change the batteries in your smoke alarm. I hope you aerated your lawn and reseeded this fall. It’s a little late to do it now especially since it is sooo cold. I filled in a hole in one of the BJ’s in Raleigh. There used to be refrigeration lines and drain lines in that hole but the hole is no more. I had to do that job after closing time. Many bags of gravel and many bags of concrete and many hours. I could go on but these are just some of the things I have been working on the fall. I hope you fall is going well, thanksgiving was good and I hope you holiday season goes well for you also.

So, now Wikileaks, if you feel compelled to expose me to the scrutiny of the world, go ahead. I think I have been truthful with everyone.